My senior year of high school, I was nominated for the Wendy’s Heisman award. It’s basically a circle jerk promotional award that Wendy’s gives out to twelve “exceptional” students in West Virginia. This means you have to get good grades, participate in sports, and do some sort of community service. It’s difficult enough to even find twelve students in West Virginia, let alone twelve that meet those requirements. So when they told me I had been nominated, I wasn’t overly impressed.
The local news stations were going around interviewing each nominee at their school, which I thought was completely preposterous. The fact that my mediocre school and sports performances and forced community service constituted a spot on the nightly news was absurd.
Anyways, I recently found the DVD they gave us at the dinner. My interview is below, but first, here’s an example of one of the other nominees to give you an idea for who I was up against.
Next is mine. A few things to notice: the 7th grade P.E. book I grab from a random locker and intellectually skim, the fact that the newscaster has to say that “he knows it’s an honor,” and my hair.
At the dinner, some big shot from Wendy’s corporation gave me a gift certificate for $5 to spend on chicken nuggets.
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